We named our party play list daddy issues
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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