Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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