plz talk dirty to me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Less talking, more tequila
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
