in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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