dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had to cum in my sink.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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