Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
only if we run a train.
done.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
