You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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