Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize