I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
