I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
