I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
