I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
