Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm too high and old for this...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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