it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
