I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
