Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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