Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
