Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
