Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
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At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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