i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
God I need to hump something, right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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