i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
there's paper in my vomit.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
