there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need water and some morals
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
