nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
