I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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