is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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