so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am one with the molecules
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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