Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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