it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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