The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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