I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
