When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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