I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize