I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
