the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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