I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
