I must be too annoying 4 u.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
