how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
