I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
