It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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