Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
