Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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