I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
