I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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