I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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