I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
