I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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