How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
