I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
love makes seman taste better
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
