so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
