Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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