my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
