Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
