I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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