It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
