Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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