How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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