did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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