My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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