I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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