I've blown a few things in my day
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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